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Superevil Satanists on the Net

August 21, 2007

If you’re looking for a New Religion, the New Statesman’s faith column might just be the place to start.

This isn’t just your usual ecumenical gathering of Guardian-reading priests, imans and rabbis: here we have Animists, Witches, Humanists, Druids and Baha’is.

There are also happy clappies, Ethiopian Orthodox deacons and much, much more.

Yes, even Satanists, in the form of one, ahem, UV Ray.

Shock! Horror! Sex, drugs and child sacrifice!

Not quite. Satanism appears to be what happens when D&D nerds take themselves seriously.

And Satanism isn’t for everyone, apparently – only the elite:

It is for this reason we declare ourselves the alien elite, proudly remaining emancipated from the tedium of mediocrity creeping into society, art, politics, literature and the media – comfortably sliding into bed next to all those who have subscribed to its mores and paid up in full. Our brand of elitism is one of ethics, not ethnicity. It is one that espouses the merits of the just and curses the rotten – those who would seek to deny the carnal pleasures of life and man’s own declaration of Godhood. I have no desire to offer the asinine listeners of Radio 4 hope by appearing on “Thought For The Day.”

Anyone who’s ever surfed Satan on the net will realise one thing very quickly: like inbred aristrocrats claiming genetic superiority, there is very little evidence of Satanists being any kind of elite: they are rarely very impressive.

Elitism is one of the most ridiculous ideas I have ever come across. There is no denying that some people are more able than others at certain things, or even that some people are more ‘use’ to society: it would be easy to argue that a Marx or a Spinoza is more ‘useful’ than a wee ned from Easterhoose, for instance.

But the idea that any person is inately ‘better’ than another is stupid, and smacks of egotistical insecurity: why is that the elitists are usually such sad bastards? They’re usually just privileged, and use veiled references to breeding to suggest that they deserve to be privileged.

If anyone is a hero to me, if anyone becomes ‘better’ than average (and note, it’s a question of becoming, not being), then it is the person who is able to overcome disempowerment and opposition to get into a position where they can inspire other people to do the same. In other words, they don’t try to climb any ladder to get above others, but use their power to pull down barriers and storm heaven with the rest of humanity behind them.

Spartacus, for instance.

A working class hero is something to be.

If fundamentalist Christianity is the religion of stupid people who worship their own repression – a true ‘slave god’ religion – then Satanism is just a spiritual justification for capitalism and other domination systems. It’s very similar to Nazism, except that it claims not to be racist – the elite can come from any background (though I think Satanism is a very white thing, don’t you?). It’s Nietzsche for people with no sense of perspective.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I am not opposed to the dark side. It’s necessary to embrace darkness to become fully human, and to deprogramme ourself from the falsehoods we are brought up to believe.

Tantra sees consensus reality – the phoney world sold to us by politicians and advertisers – as Maya, illusion. One common Tantric technique for enlightenment is to embrace values opposite to that of the culture you live in, to become an outsider, to liberate yourself intellectually and spiritually from the traps created for you.

It worked for me: I was a Goth in apartheid South Africa, and it helped separate me from the mainstream. I can see the appeal – and even the use – of being ‘super evil’.

But there are more mature ways of going about this – such as embracing a political programme that will actually change that world. Being a communist in a capitalist world is even more antithetical than being a Satanist in a Christian world, because no one cares about Christianity anyway.

So, fail Satan!

If you are in the market for a new religion, I still recommend the Church of the SubGenius.

Hail Bob!

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